Wednesday thoughts
I haven’t taken the time to sit at the computer and formulate a post, so I guess I’ll have to do it from my phone. I haven’t caught up yet, but we all know there’s no such thing around here. I felt like I had to take a tumblr break, because I was slipping into a pretty deep depression despite my best efforts to avoid it. I just didn’t have the words to express how I was feeling, and I had the urge to be a hermit. I even skipped the elementary school’s annual Parent’s Night Out, which I look forward to every year (and it would have been our last one, because our youngest is in 6th grade), because I just didn’t feel like socializing. In addition to the depression, I needed to deal with some very practical issues. We found out that our oldest had been drinking at school parties and had sex with her boyfriend (school boyfriend-a year older), who subsequently dumped her. She acted like the whole thing was no big deal, but in reality, she was crushed, and her grades and everything else suffered. We have been talking more, and I think she’s relieved not to have to pretend everything is okay when it’s not. My heart hurts for her. And all of her Dad’s warnings turned out to be true. He hasn’t said “I told you so.” I also have been trying adderall on my therapist’s and doctor’s recommendations. The jury is still out. I really hate taking medication. I don’t have a problem with needing it-I am just sensitive to everything, and I am not sure if it is helping. It may also be making me more depressed. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist who is supposed to be good, but not until the end of October. I am a little frustrated that I have been doing all the “right” things, but I am still fighting to get through the day every single day, but it is better than it was. And I have been trying to connect with friends again. And the saner members of my family. There has been some big family drama that reminded me I come from crazy, and I’m doing okay. I’m glad to be back.
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